How I have been feeling

I wanted to write this post because since my Endometriosis has grown back it’s been really hard to manage and also affecting my quality of life. It had gotten so bad at one stage I couldn’t walk, go to the toilet, be with my partner, and so much more. I want to be real and honest about what I have been feeling. I also really want sufferers out there to know they aren’t alone with what they’re experiencing and feeling. My heart breaks and goes out to all of the women suffering from this condition, because it can have a very damaging affect physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially.

These past few months I have tried drug therapies, pain killers, exercises, etc. Yet, my pain gets more debilitating, and all of the different therapies and medications have been having bad side effects on me! Not only has this disease been hurting my body but it’s been hurting my mind. My last surgery was just over a year ago and my specialist doesn’t want to do surgery again so soon. Which I can understand.

I do feel like I am at breaking point though, and that I’m running out of options to manage this disease. I feel let down, confused and disappointed by all the doctors I’ve seen since I was 14, all the emergency trips to the hospital, surgeries, drug therapies, pain killers, scans, some of the people in my life, and most importantly my body. I also feel disappointed that people don’t take Endometriosis seriously and that they don’t think it’s a real condition. They could at least try to understand it. I’m also hurt that my loved ones have been seeing me in such horrible states from my endo. I feel like I’ve been a burden and let them down.

I have been feeling broken over my current situation. I am scared, and I’m not sure what to do with my Endometriosis right now. I hope there will be something that can help. For now I know I have to keep trying and push forward. To keep remembering that Endometriosis is not me, just a part of me.

I wish there was a cure for Endometriosis or some quick fix…but unfortunately there isn’t. I will have to manage this disease for the rest of my life, and so will many other women.

All I want to be is a healthy, social young women. I want to continue to study and achieve the career I want. Maintain a job without my condition getting in the way. Have a happy healthy relationship with my partner without Endometriosis affecting it.

For some good news though I am on a new pill, and medication for pain. In two weeks I will be starting pelvic physiotherapy, and I have started yoga. Keeping positive is the best thing I can do for myself right now. I will keep you all updated about how it goes and I really hope it works!

Thank you for taking the time to read this you beautiful souls.

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